Book #2 - "Let Me Be A Woman"

I finished this book this afternoon and was determined to write about it right away, so that I'm caught up! This book is a classic, in that I'm sure many people (especially women, of course) have already read it.
The author, Elisabeth Elliot, is the wife of the famous missionary/martyr Jim Elliot. At the time this book was published in 1976, she had been single, married three times and widowed twice. One might call her an 'expert' on the issues of relationships, contentment with being single and a woman's role in life and relationships. In 1999, she wrote a short introductory note to this book explaining the background and what was happening in society as it was being written: "This book was written at the height of the strong feminist movement that swept through our country in the seventies and eighties. Women were told that they ought to get out of the house and do something 'fulfilling'."
This book is very unique in style. It is comprised of 49 chapters and yet the book's length is only 175 pages. So each chapter is, at most, three pages long - yet so much information is packed into those pages! If you had the time, it would probably be best to read one chapter a day. It is also unique in that it is extremely personal, for it is a mother writing to her daughter. The full title is: "Let Me Be A Woman - Notes to My Daughter on the Meaning of Womanhood." In the same introductory note mentioned previously, she states to her daughter (who has now been married 23 years as of 1999), "So I wrote a book as my wedding present to you, putting down in black and white the great eternal principles that distinguish men from women." I love it when authors plainly state the purpose of their book! It makes my job a lot easier :) Elliot is gifted in that she writes both extremely simply and yet extremely intellectually at the same time - which is why all of her books are a pleasure to read.
It's difficult to create an outline for the book as you get the very intimate sense that Elliot would write something as it came to mind, then maybe she went out for the day or out for a walk, thought of something she wanted to say and would write it down when she returned. I personally think that is why the chapters are so short - each chapter is a thought that has come to her that she wishes to pass along to her daughter. Be assured that this in no way makes the book disjointed, rather it emphasizes each point in a concise manner. However some of the broader issues (to name just a few) that she deals with are:
- The Order of Creation: Women for Man
- Submission and Authority in Marriage
- Masculinity and Femininity
- What Makes a Marriage Work
- What Marriage is: A Union, A Mirror, A Vocation
- Humility and Equality
- As a Woman, who do you marry?
     - You marry a sinner
     - You marry a man
     - You marry a husband
     - You marry a person

Once again, there are far too many interesting and excellent quotes and arguments to list but here are a few that I both enjoyed and yet challenged me:

- "Christian love is action. It is the warp and woof of marriage, and because marriage itself is a life work, this love is worked out through all the days and years of marriage, growing as it is practiced, deepening as cares and responsibilities deepen, and turning, at the same time, those cares and responsibilities (and even the drudgeries) into deeper joy." (pg. 172)
- (Quoting Isak Dinesen from Out of Africa): "(The right kind of) pride is faith in the idea that God had when He made us. A proud man is conscious of the idea and aspires to realize it. He does not strive towards a happiness, or comfort, which may be irrelevant to God's idea of him. His success is the idea of God, successfully carried through, and he is in love with his destiny." (pg. 17)
- "We are given (gifts) by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning, and wants above all else to give us the gift of Himself. It is within the sphere of the circumstances He chooses for us - single, married, widowed - that we receive Him. It is there and nowhere else that He makes Himself known to us. It is there we are allowed to serve Him." (pg. 26)

I hope I've whetted your appetite for more - there are so many more gems contained in this book! As a single person, who has now read this book twice, may I be so bold to say that IF and WHEN I am to be married, I will definitely read this book again - consider it a "marriage manual". It defines marriage, prepares one for marriage, and for those who are married, it holds many good reminders. It is, I would say, more geared towards women (hence the title!) but for any men wishing to have help in knowing the Biblical guidelines and principles for womanhood, then by all means read this book. When you finish it, you may feel overwhelmed (as I did!) at the wealth of knowledge that you have just read, but it is a very readable book in itself and one I would definitely recommend.
Leanne, if you are reading this...one confession. This is, in fact, your book (evidence of this is your maiden name written inside!) and so I will return it the next time I see you. :)
Anybody who lives locally and is wanting this book, PBS does sell it for around $7! :)
As always, comments are welcome below.

Book #1 - "Calm My Anxious Heart"

My sister helped me to solve the dilemma of which book I should start with! This is actually her book and I think I've had it in my possession for almost a year? Oops... I actually finished this about a week ago and immediately started on my second book, but this is actually the first opportunity I've had to sit down and write a review on it.
The title instantly appealed to me. I am, by nature and by unfortunate habits, an extremely anxious person. I love being in control - some call it bossy! - and I have to know what my plans are well in advance. Certain people in my life are helping me to realize that certain spontaneity is good and fun, and I am gradually beginning to allow some spontaneity to creep into my life. :)
I need to give a bit of background info on the author as that makes a big difference when you read the book! Her name is Linda Dillow. For 17 years, her and her husband were missionaries in various places in Europe and Asia, they now reside in the USA. At the beginning of each of the 12 chapters, there is a page-long story from her time overseas that helps to emphasize her point in that chapter - the stories are all very interesting and most are quite sobering. In fact, her dedication states, "To the women in Eastern Europe who lived contentment before me."
At first glance (and due to the title), I thought this book was just about conquering anxiety. But Dillow makes a very interesting connection between contentment and anxiety; we can have wonderful peace when we are content with what has been given us. The first part of the book deals with contentment and her first chapter is aptly titled "My Journey to Contentment". Contentment is something that needs constant work. It is a conscious desire and choice - we must CHOOSE to be content. She then deals with the following aspects:
- Content with Circumstances
- Content to be Me
- Content with My Role
- Content in Relationships.
Dillow then address the enemy of contentment - greed. This chapter is suitably called "Never Enough", which is followed by the topic of our focus and purpose in life and how vital it is that our focus is correct, otherwise our entire life is thrown off. May my focus in life be truly Christ - He is all I need!
She continues on with the anxiety part of the book - addressing worry and how our faith needs to be secure and well-grounded to ease our worries, fears and anxieties. The final three chapters deal with the same topic but she has split them into a triplet:
- Trusting God with the "What Ifs"
- Trusting God with the "If Onlys"
- Trusting God with the "Whys"

This book is very personal for several reasons. One, the author uses many personal situations and experiences, very often baring her soul and heart. Two, the style that she has written it feels that she is sitting across the table from you, sincerely talking to you. Three, once you have read this book, your ideas about contentment and anxiety will radically change and it makes you more determined to be content with everything you have and to worry less! Four, it became a very personal book for me (so much so that I now have to buy my own copy soon!) as each and every point she raised directly challenged me.
The timing when I read this book was perfect. I read it in 1 week and at the end of this week, lay an obstacle that I had to face and overcome. It consisted of one of my worst fears. At the beginning of the week, I came very VERY close to accepting defeat and letting the obstacle/challenge win. It was affecting my eating and sleeping habits even! I was so thankful I read this book when I did! By the end of the week, I knew I could rely on power and strength far greater than my own, that God is already in my tomorrows, that I must not let this beat me and that indeed "worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere." There were SO many quotes, points and stories from this book that I enjoyed so much and I ended up writing them down - I took that paper with me when it was time to do battle with my fears and that paper is now kept in my purse for whenever anxiety overcomes me. I'll let you read the book and enjoy it yourself :) I'll leave you with the 'formula' that Dillow makes:
Problem: Living by Feelings - we live by our feeling and what we can see.
RESULT: An anxious heart.
Solution: Living by Faith - we must live by trusting God for what we can't see.
RESULT: A calm heart.

I strongly, strongly recommend this book! Very challenging, very readable (it also includes a 12-week Bible study) and for anyone who has struggled with contentment, worry or anxiety (no matter the degree) this book is, in essence, a balm to your anxious heart. Comments are welcome below :)